


I Won't Say I'm in Love

by orphan_account



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Falling In Love, Fantastic Beasts Week, Fluff, Getting Together, Not Canon Compliant, Song fic, Yea im gonna say this is fluff, i dont support jk rowling!!, i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-12 20:07:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21482098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Tina admits to herself that she doesn't know if she isin lovewith this man.But she does know that this feeling right now could turn into that.•Tina Goldstein realizing and coming to terms with her feelings for Newt. I wrote this a while ago lmao but I saw it fit today for Fantastic Beasts Week so here we are I guess.Title is the song from Disney's Hercules
Relationships: Leta Lestrange/Theseus Scamander, Queenie Goldstein/Jacob Kowalski, Tina Goldstein/Newt Scamander
Comments: 7
Kudos: 58





	I Won't Say I'm in Love

**Author's Note:**

> Yea so I did write this a while ago and just tweaked it now. Hope u enjoy :)
> 
> Also I did skip some verses and I dont know how formatting works so there's that lmao

••• _If there's a prize for rotten judgement  
I guess I've already won that  
No man is worth the aggravation   
That's ancient history, been there, done that_ •••

Tina has built up walls around her heart ever since her days at Ilvermorny. She never wanted to be in a relationship- she was too focused on her work, let alone the fact that no one really even wanted to be in a relationship with _her._

But then in her 5th year, there was Isaac Brown. Even as a fellow Thunderbird, she never paid much attention to him, until she realized that _he_ was paying attention to _her._ It was Queenie who got her to go out with him. 

It was… nice. They would spend time together out of class, but not all things last. At the end of that year, Tina walked in on Isaac making out with a girl a year above them. She knew she was fooling herself when she thought he liked her. She knew she was fooling herself when she thought she liked _him._

After that she threw herself into her studies on becoming an Auror, promising to herself that she would _never_ let a man interfere with her job or any other aspect of her life.

That's why, as Tina reads yet another letter from Newt, she tells herself that she is _not_ falling for the Magizoologist she knew for a few days.

••• _Who d'you think you're kidding  
He's the earth and heaven to you  
Try to keep it hidden,  
Honey we can see right through you_ •••

“There's no use in hiding it, you know.”

Tina looks up at Queenie from the letter she's (re)reading. 

“What?” 

Queenie rolls her eyes. “Don't play dumb, Teenie.” Queenie motions to the letter. “You're thinking about Newt.”

Tina goes red. “Well, I'm reading a letter he wrote- of course I'm thinking about him.”

“Teen, people don't read letters sent to them ten times over when they don't like someone.”

“He's my _friend,_ Queenie.”

“_Like_ like.” Queenie stands up as Tina rolls her eyes.

“You sound like you're twelve,” she says. “And I don't like him like that, Queenie.”

Queenie just hums as she sends her plate to start cleaning itself. “Whatever you say, Teen,” she says, “but there's no reason to keep those walls up. He's no Isaac.”

••• _Girl you can't conceal it  
We know how you're feeling  
Who you thinking of_ •••

Jacob is over for Shabbat dinner again, so Tina prepares herself for the amount of flirting that happens between him and her sister. 

Tina can’t help but feel like it's like that first dinner they had with Jacob… except Newt isn't sitting across from her, avoiding all eye contact. 

At least then she wasn't suffering alone in the awkwardness that ensues from being in the same room as two people flirting. At least then Newt was there… not to _talk_ to, but just to be around. Being around him felt calm, somehow nice-

“Teenie.”

Tina snaps out of her thoughts and looks at Queenie, who is smiling. Tina tries not to blush.

“You got lost in your thoughts again,” Queenie continues. 

Tina looks down at her plate and picks up a piece of challah to nibble on. 

_Well I don't know what else to do while you two are flirting._

Queenie frowns. “We didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“I'm not uncomfortable, Queenie.”

It's silent for a few seconds until Jacob speaks up.

“I can go-”

“No honey,” Queenie interjects. 

“There's no need for you to go, Jacob,” Tina says. “You're great company.” 

“She just misses Newt-”

“No, I _don't_,” Tina interrupts, looking pointedly at her sister. “I only knew him for a few days… we're acquaintances. That's it.” Tina stands up with her plate. “I have a big meeting tomorrow… I'm going to go to bed. Goodnight, you two.”

Tina disposes of her plate and walks to her room. As she changes, she hears laughter coming from the dining room. As she lays in bed, she stares at the ceiling, willing herself to not think about how Newt hasn't responded in a while, to not think about that picture of Leta Lestrange in his case, to not think about…. 

She falls asleep, and that night, dreams about being in the case she definitely _wasn't_ thinking about.

••• _I thought my heart had learned its lesson  
It feels so good when you start out  
My head is screaming "Get a grip, girl  
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out"_  
_You keep on denying  
Who you are and how you're feeling  
Baby, we're not buying  
Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling_ •••

Queenie walks into the apartment, hearing scrambled thoughts. 

“Tina?” she asks, dispensing her coat and walking further into the living room. 

The screaming thoughts immediately stop with a _Get a grip, Goldstein!_ when Tina calls back “Hey Queenie!” 

“What's going on?” Queenie asks, walking towards her sister and sitting across from her at the table. She sees Tina try to hide a smile. Finally, Tina lets up and her thoughts come spilling out.

_Book is being released… coming here next month… excited to see me…_

“Woah woah woah, slow it down there,” Queenie says. “Your mind is going a mile a minute!” 

“Sorry,” Tina says. But she doesn't sound sorry in the slightest. Even her face betrays her, lips curling into a wide smile. “Newt's letter came, that's all.”

Queenie raises an eyebrow. “You've never been _this_ excited over one of his letters.” Suddenly she remembers what Tina was thinking and puts it all together. Queenie now smiles as well. “He's coming here?”

Tina nods. 

“Oh Teenie, that's great! I'll cook all four of us a big meal for when he's back. He'll be so happy to see you!”

“He'll be happy to see all of us, I think.”

“Yes, but _especially_ you!” Queenie exclaims. “Teen, that man is crazy for you.”

Tina furrows her brow. “What? No he's not-”

“I've seen those letters he sends you- it's _obvious_.”

Tina shakes her head. “He thinks of me as a friend, that's all. And _I_ think of _him_ as a friend.”

Queenie rolls her eyes. “That's just not _true-_ Both of those statements! I saw how excited you were just now.”

“_Friends,_ Queenie.” Tina looks down. “Besides, there's Leta…” 

Queenie’s face softens. “Honey, she's in his past. What I know is… it's complicated and something for him to tell you. But it's not what you think-”

“He said he saw her again, Queenie.” Tina interrupts. She stands up, leaving the letter on the table. “Nothing's gonna happen between us.”

Queenie watches sadly as her sister leaves the room. 

••• _Face it like a grown-up  
When you gonna own up  
That you got, got, got it bad?_ •••

The memory of the death cell still haunts her even after a few months. She'll wake up in a sweat, or even crying sometimes, after a nightmare about it.

Usually she'll make a cup of cocoa and read some of the letters Newt has sent (they remind her that she's _alive-_ that she didn't die thanks to him) to help after one of those nightmares. 

On this night, she wakes up _sobbing_ with Queenie over her, shaking her awake.

“Teenie? Teenie! Wake up! Please!”

“New-” Tina opens her eyes. “Queenie.” 

“Teenie what's _wrong_?" Queenie’s eyes are glistening with worry for her sister.

“No- nothing,” Tina says. She sits up and that's when she realizes she's still crying. 

“It don’t seem like nothing, Teen,” Queenie says. “I'm gonna go make us some cocoa.”

“Queenie that's not necessary-” Tina stops as the door closes behind her sister. Taking a deep breath and releasing it, Tina falls back against the headboard of her bed. 

It's not long before Queenie comes back into the room with two mugs. She hands one to Tina and sits on her own bed, facing her.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Queenie asks quietly.

Tina takes a long sip of her hot drink, burning her tongue in the process. Her mind screams _No I don't want to talk about it it's stupid_ but the rational part of her knows it would be better to talk about it, and that it's probably not as stupid as she thinks. 

“I had another nightmare about… about that death cell,” she finally says. 

Queenie frowns. “This one seemed a lot worse.”

Tina shrugs, looking at the swirling liquid in her mug. 

“You were screaming.” 

Tina looks back up at her sister. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up-”

“It's fine, really,” Queenie says genuinely, “I'm just… worried.”

“Why?”

“Teenie, you were screaming Newt’s name.”

Tina presses her mouth in a firm line. _It's probably because he was on that chair instead of me and I couldn't do anything about it-_

“Oh, Teenie.” Queenie quickly stands up and moves over to her sister, wrapping her in a hug. 

“It's nothing, Queenie. Really.” 

“But it _scared_ you.” 

Tina looks at her sister's worried and scared expression and suddenly they're kids again.

“I'm fine- I'll _be_ fine.”

Queenie presses herself into her older sister, hugging her tightly. 

“You're not weaker for liking someone, you know that, right?”

Tina shrugs. 

••• _No chance, no way  
I won't say it, no, no  
This scene won't play  
I won't say I'm in love_ •••

Tina throws herself into her work over the next week in order to not get distracted by the fact that Newt is going to be in New York in seven days. 

Queenie keeps teasing her about how there's always at least a small thought in the back of her mind about Newt. Tina will throw Queenie a look, but doesn't get mad. 

This particular day at work, (only three days before Newt's ship docks) Tina gets called into the president’s office.

She knocks on the door that's cracked open a bit. “Madam Picquery?” she asks, her voice small. “You wanted to see me?”

Picquery looks up from her desk at Tina. “Ah, Miss Goldstein, yes. Come on in.”

Tina nods, walking further into the office. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes, yes, I just wanted to talk to you about something. Please, sit.” The president motions to the seat in front of her desk as she herself sits down.

“I'm sure you're aware of this, but Mr. Newton Scamander is going to be back in the states soon,” she starts. Tina nods. “Good, well, I'd like you to keep an eye on him.”

Tina's eyebrows furrow in confusion. “What?”

“I would assume he's going to bring that case of his back, and I can't have him and it out in New York without surveillance,” she explains. “And, from what I know, you two have kept up a correspondence and seem to be good friends. So, while he's here, I would appreciate it if you would make sure Mr. Scamander or any of his beasts don't get into any trouble.”

“Y-yes, I can do that,” Tina says, still slightly confused. “I'm assuming you would still like me to come in to work; I have that case-”

“Your coworkers will be able to handle it for a few days,” Picquery interrupts. “You can come in if you would like, but I would assume your new assignment would take up most of your day.” 

Then, Tina _swears_, Picquery smirks.

“Plus, I'd imagine you would like to spend time with him and catch up.” 

Taken aback, Tina nods slowly. “Al-alright. Is that all?”

Picquery nods. “I do believe so, Miss Goldstein.” 

Tina nods as well and stands up to leave.

“You've done a lot of good work recently, Goldstein,” Picquery says, Tina’s hand on the door handle. “It's been great to have you back these past few months.”

Tina smiles. “Thank you. It's been great to be back.”

••• _You're way off base, I won't say it  
Get off my case, I won't say it_ •••

Tina waits nervously at the docks, swaying back and forth on her heels. The boat Newt said he'd be on had docked, but people are still filing off of it.

She'd gotten there later than she had hoped, having gone into work for the morning. She got caught up in documents, and before she knew it, it was a half an hour after she was planning on leaving.

Tina stands on her toes to look over the crowd going through customs, but there's no sign of Newt’s mop of hair. 

_What if he didn't come? What if he changed his mind? What if-_

“Miss Goldstein.”

Tina’s head whips around at the sound of her name spoken in a British accent. And the owner of that accent is standing right next to her.

“Ne- Mr. Scamander!” Tina exclaims, surprised. “I didn't see you get off the boat…”

“Ah, well, I had gotten off quite early, you see.” Newt's eyes dart around, never fully landing on Tina’s. “I wanted to, er, I wanted to be able to get through customs quickly.”

Tina smiles. _He must have gotten off before I got here_. “I'm glad you're here, Mr. Scamander.”

Newt picks his head up, finally looking Tina in the eyes. He smiles as well. “Me too.”

“Would you- would you like to get something to eat?” Tina suggests. “It is nearly lunchtime, and there's a deli around here that's pretty good.”

“I would love to, Miss Goldstein.”

Tina smiles again, bringing Newt to a secluded corner before apparating them away… 

… and into an alley by the bustling roads of New York City.

“It's right this way,” Tina says, walking forward. She realizes her hand is still on Newt’s arm, and blushing, pulls it away. She swears that she sees Newt frown out of the corner of her eye.

“If- if you don't mind me asking,” Newt raises his voice over the din of the city, “When must you be back at work?”

“Actually, I'm at work right now,” Tina says. She doesn't get to explain before getting to the door of the deli. “After you.”

It's after they've gotten their sandwiches and are sitting down that Newt starts the conversation again. 

“Er, what did you mean by you're at work now?” he asks before taking a bite of his sandwich.

“Picquery assigned me to look after you and your case. Make sure you don't get into any trouble.” 

Newt nods. “Well that's- that's lovely news.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Well, not the part that Madam President assumes I'm going to get into trouble, I mean, that was one time-” Newt looks down, embarrassed. “I'm- I'm rambling, aren't I?” He looks back up, and seeing Tina smile, he chuckles a bit.

“What I _mean_ to say, is that I would love nothing more than to spend my time here with you.” Newt immediately looks down, his face gone beet red. 

Tina’s lips curl into a small smile as she bites into her sandwich. 

“Miss Goldstein-”

“Please call me Tina,” Tina interrupts quickly. “After all, we've been addressing each other by first name throughout letters.”

Newt nods. “Ah, of course. Then please, call me Newt. As you say, we are on a first name basis.”

Tina chuckles, and relishes in the fact that that makes Newt smile. 

"Sorry I interrupted you- what were you going to say?" Tina finally asks.

“Oh, no it's alright,” Newt assures. He reaches down and grabs his case, bringing it up on his lap. Flipping a switch, he opens it, pulls something out, and closes it again.

“I believe this is for you, Tina,” he says, handing her a red bound book. “First copy ever printed.”

Tina takes the book, still looking at Newt. “The first copy?”

Newt nods. “Yes.”

“Thank you, Newt.” Tina smiles again, and then looks down at the book. She gasps. “_‘Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them’._..” she says quietly, her fingers tracing the words. “The title…”

“Yes, it's the one you said on the docks last time we saw each other. I- I hope you don't mind.” Newt looks down at his plate.

“Not at all, Newt.”

Tina’s voice brings Newt’s head back up and he looks at her again.

“I love it. It's beautiful.”

Newt smiles. “I'm glad you like it.”

Tina nods, opening up the book to the first page- the dedication page.

_For my mother, who started my interest in magical creatures, and for T. G. for not only a great New York experience, but for the title of this book as well._

Tina looks back up at Newt, her mouth open in shock. “Newt… thank you.”

Newt shrugs, avoiding her gaze again. “It was the least I could do.”

Tina reaches across the table and takes Newt's hand, causing his head to snap up, his eyes immediately back on hers. 

“It's lovely.”

••• _Ohhh...  
At least out loud  
I won't say I'm in love_ •••

Tina sits next to Newt on the couch in her living room, flipping through his book.

“_Swooping Evil,_” Tina says out loud. She looks at Newt. “Isn't that…?”

“The one that helped save us, yes,” Newt says, nodding. 

Tina nods, looking back down at the book. “That was… an interesting day.”

“Yes, it was.” 

They're both silent for a bit- Tina even stops reading. 

“I still have nightmares about it,” Tina eventually says, very quietly.

“Me too,” Newt says, equally as quiet. Tina looks up at him quickly, in surprise, and is met with his eyes looking directly into hers. 

“But I catch myself thinking of the rest of those few days,” Newt continues. “The good parts.”

Tina nods, not trusting her voice.

“I do hope I don't sound too forward when I say you've been on my thoughts nearly every day. I would forget everything when a letter from you would come. It was like I couldn't _function_ properly.” 

Newt breaks eye contact for a second but as quick as they move away, his eyes are back on hers. “I've… I've missed you dearly, Tina.”

“I've missed you too,” Tina says. She doesn't notice that they've scooted closer to each other on the couch. 

“Miss Goldstein- _Tina,_” Newt says, his voice barely above a whisper. “May I- would it be alright- can I… can I kiss you?”

Even though she's surprised, Tina doesn't hesitate. “_Yes_,” she whispers. 

And then they're kissing. But Tina remembers something and quickly pulls away.

“Tina-?”

“You said you saw Leta,” Tina says, hurried. “You- you shouldn't- why _me_-” She stops suddenly when Newt's hand moves to cup her face.

“Leta is engaged to my brother, Tina,” he says. “We saw each other again, yes, but as old friends and future in-laws. There was… there was nothing- nothing happened that you're thinking about.”

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-”

“It's alright, Tina. I should've been clearer in my letter. I didn't- I didn't realize you'd think that, or that you'd… _feel_ the same way as I feel.

“And as for ‘why you’, it's because you're the most beautiful, nicest, brave, _amazing-_”

“Just kiss me again already.”

Newt smiles and chuckles, leaning forward again. 

As Newt brings his lips to hers once more, Tina admits to herself that she doesn't know if she is _in love_ with this man.

But she does know that this feeling right now could turn into that.

**Author's Note:**

> Idk if I'll be posting anything else for the FB week but I do still have a TON of drafts of works so we'll see what happens.
> 
> Thanks for reading!!!


End file.
